You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
