Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
her vagine was all disorganized.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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