i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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