Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
