You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the condom got lost in my hair
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She bit a glass in half.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
