girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
