Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
