Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
