The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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