i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think your dad took our porno
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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