well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
