I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
