I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
