I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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