my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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