What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
