apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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