office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize