I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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