My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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