Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize