I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
what day is it and did you see me today?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
