im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
