We won't sleep together?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize