God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
