Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Princesses don't give blow jobs
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hippo gnu deer
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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