I like to think it a success when the cops are called
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
