I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
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