I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was born a porn star she said
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize