In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
