I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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