im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize