Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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