I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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