sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish there were birth control emojis
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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