Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
