dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
