I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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