a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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