I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
