we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize