making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
