You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
