imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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