Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
