Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
