no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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