highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Are we still banned from the library?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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