So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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