I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
