ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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