Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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