Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.

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  (203): a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up. http://tfl.nu/5e3h
  Replies (76) Good night (1096) Bad night (7984)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.

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  (419): Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often. http://tfl.nu/82c7
  Replies (25) Good night (845) Bad night (5052)
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  (562): View more from California

  Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.

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  (562): Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont. http://tfl.nu/ey1g
  Replies (14) Good night (815) Bad night (3419)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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  (978): Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over. http://tfl.nu/42jf
  Replies (22) Good night (1296) Bad night (4305)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.

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  (919): I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels. http://tfl.nu/lt6v
  Replies (19) Good night (4462) Bad night (1394)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?

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  (317): What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy? http://tfl.nu/iupy
  Replies (20) Good night (1355) Bad night (3388)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff

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  (303): I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff http://tfl.nu/0hbk
  Replies (2) Good night (2830) Bad night (785)
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  (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

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  (679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s
  Replies (20) Good night (6542) Bad night (1165)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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  (778): you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that http://tfl.nu/wgi4
  Replies (6) Good night (988) Bad night (2822)
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  (559): View more from California

  she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends

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  (559): she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends http://tfl.nu/3qzm
  Replies (49) Good night (848) Bad night (3469)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do

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  (703): I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do http://tfl.nu/cpj9
  Replies (11) Good night (1188) Bad night (710)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room

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  (413): You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room http://tfl.nu/ree5
  Replies (5) Good night (1124) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit

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  (402): You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit http://tfl.nu/nx74
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (403)
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  (916): View more from California

  Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner

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  (916): Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner http://tfl.nu/9gah
  Replies (1) Good night (484) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?

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  (586): How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk? http://tfl.nu/j1yp
  Replies (2) Good night (1122) Bad night (203)

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