Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
everyone is single if you try hard enough
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.