it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...