Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime http://tfl.nu/8e5t
  Replies (23) Good night (781) Bad night (5934)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): She looked kinda like Mario Batali? http://tfl.nu/17rh
  Replies (23) Good night (517) Bad night (2812)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know. http://tfl.nu/4r5f
  Replies (37) Good night (2880) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity http://tfl.nu/y8gk
  Replies (81) Good night (4182) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach? http://tfl.nu/arsp
  Replies (31) Good night (2066) Bad night (3319)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women http://tfl.nu/ny5s
  Replies (11) Good night (4883) Bad night (2907)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas. http://tfl.nu/b72z
  Replies (31) Good night (12086) Bad night (1322)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight http://tfl.nu/88wf
  Replies (8) Good night (3613) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money. http://tfl.nu/bov0
  Replies (3) Good night (2165) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class. http://tfl.nu/5a7w
  Replies (3) Good night (643) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical http://tfl.nu/vxcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1784) Bad night (436)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye." http://tfl.nu/jcze
  Replies (2) Good night (699) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy http://tfl.nu/pee7
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now. http://tfl.nu/po20
  Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning. http://tfl.nu/kfpq
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (226)

Randomize