Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
