this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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