I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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