We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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